Friday Funday!

I’ve written before about various games you can play for team engagement, socialization, and general fun. Today I want to keep it simple! There are plenty of things you can do using a social media or collaboration tool that require no prep work from you, and allow your teams to respond on their schedule. These can be just as much fun as activities you participate in “live”.

Before engaging in any fun-tivities on your social channels, make sure that you are partitioned to do so. You should segregate your play from your work so that one does not drown out the other, and proper attention can be placed on the matter at hand. If a feed or channel is too noisy with a wide variety of chatter, all messages will seem less important and activity will dwindle.

Each activity needs to start with a top level post. You should provide the instructions, along with an example or the starter to the activity.

Allow for side convos. Someone’s post is likely to spawn a comment, such as “That’s the best movie!”, “Dude… too soon!”, “Now I want pizza”, and so forth. This is the real fun of such activities. You learn something about people through their top responses (even indirectly just by the type of meme or Giphy they use), but you also foster watercooler chat and informal socialization by permitting the rabbit holes. These activities are intended to be organic. When they are allowed to twist and turn, you end up on an exciting road trip. If you keep too much to the map, you reach the destination, but missed some fun stops along the way.

Here are some ideas within that social thread:

• Dance Party! - Respond in Giphy with your favorite dance moves. Use likes to vote for the best dance, if desired. (I favor headbanging from Wayne’s World, and the Carlton from Fresh Prince!)
• Ruin a Song with One Word (Add version) – Respond with a song title, but add one word to it that wasn’t there to totally ruin it. “I will NOT Survive”, “Gin and Juice BOXES”, etc.
• Ruin a Song with One Word (Replace version) – Respond with a song title, but change one word already in the song to totally ruin it. “Dr. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” (This one still kills me!)
• Song Title Piggyback – Respond with a song title that starts with the last word of the previous post. “Good Day Sunshine” > “Sunshine of your Love” > “Love Me Do”…
• Movies A-Z – Respond with a Giphy related to a movie, in alphabetical order. Person 1 starts with A, such a Giphy of Fievel from “An American Tail”. Next person has B and posts a Giphy from the movie “Batman Returns”, and so on.
• Desert Island Movies – Respond with the five movies you would keep if stranded on an island, to watch until the end of time. No reason needed, just list ‘em! You can do the same with Desert Island Music Albums, Desert Island Books, Desert Island Food, etc. 
• Chopped – Respond with the four ingredients you would be if you were a Chopped mystery basket. No explanation needed! 
• Create a Playlist – Name songs around a certain theme, like sunny days, weekends, a holiday, road trips, etc. This is even more fun if someone volunteers to compile and share on Amazon, Spotify, iTunes, or the like.
• Dream Vacation – If you had two weeks off, and an unlimited budget, respond with where you would go and what you would do.
• Popular Things You Don’t Like – Respond with ten things that seem to be popular but you don’t care for. (Though I live in the state and it’s all the rage, I truly do not care for bourbon!)

All of the above require no advanced work. No meeting to be scheduled. No gathering of info. Just make a post and go! If you have five minutes, you could do some other easy ones such as:

• Never Have I Ever – Find a PC version of this online. Post the image. Ask people to respond by giving themselves one point for everything they HAVEN’T done.
• What’s your X Name? – This could be your Halloween Name, Troll Name, Rockstar Name, or whatever. Usually this is some combo of your birth month, first initial, and last initial. Find an image online, paste it, and get responses! Or, find a name generator, post the link, and have people respond with their results.
• Point Lists – Pick a thing like visiting Walt Disney World, “adulting”, how much of a 90’s kid you are, so-called “Millennial” foods you have tried, states you’ve visited, etc. Create a list or grab one from the web. Have people respond with their point total, or with an X next to the things they are counting.

Remember – As a leader, you set the tone. It’s not enough to tell your team that this type of thing is ok. You need to illustrate it by actively participating, preferably having fun in the process.

This is just a short list of ideas to get you started. Please add your comments on other ideas to help keep the party going!

Managing Grief from a Distance

Grief is a deep sorrow, a poignant distress, a cause of suffering typically following a loss. That loss can take many forms, from losing a loved one or a friend, a furbaby, your job, your health, your security, etc. That loss can be physical, such as death, or more cerebral such as a falling out or distance from a move. 

Just like there are multiple, real types of grief, there are multiple ways to cope with grief. Typically these center around denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. There is no right or wrong way to proceed through those emotions, no length of time, and no order. The journey is personal.

While every person’s experience and path is unique to them, that does not mean they should be alone.

Working remotely poses unique challenges when managing grief, both your own and supporting those around you. It is often harder to read the situation as you cannot visually experience some of the signs, and your exposure to one another is limited. It is even harder still to determine a course of action. How can you help or be helped from a different city, state, or time zone?

First, do not let fears of saying or doing the wrong thing (especially from a distance) keep you from reaching out. People appreciate that you are there. While I personally would love a hug, just knowing there are people around that care enough to check in or send a card means the world to me. In times of grief, we often reach out for grounding. The people we know and love help us connect back to that white, healing light of the world. When possible, try to reach out via phone or physical card, as the added sensory experience of sound and touch help cement us back to earth.

When reaching out to someone, remember that it’s about them, not you. Just listen. Be ok with silence and the sounds of tears. Be genuine. Ask how you can help. And ask if someone wants to hear about your similar experience or your recommendations. You may have a lot to offer, but the person may not be in a place to hear that information. And never begin a statement with “you should” or “you will” – you should soften any guidance, such as “you might try”.

For someone going through the grieving process remotely, don’t let the remote distance suffocate you. It is easy to sink into our own space and let grief consume us. Start by letting someone, anyone, know how you are feeling. This could be a friend, family member, or external resource such as a therapist. Grief is difficult to go through alone, but no one will know to try to help unless you provide a window into your world. You can be as public or private as you personally prefer, but do share with someone.

There are multiple ways to express your grief from a distance. You can journal privately or blog publicly to express your feelings. Be creative through art, poetic memoirs, personalized playlists, scrapbooking, or other projects that you can again share with others or keep to yourself. More public expressions include memorial sites where you can collect messages, pictures, and memories from others. It can be cathartic knowing others are going through their own related journey alongside you. Many of these thoughts might even bring a smile or a laugh as you learn something new or recall a fun moment.

There are plenty of resources available for managing grief, and I encourage anyone managing anything they consider to be 'grief' to look into these options. My intent is not to try to cover this immense topic in such a short blog, nor would I ever be able to. My goal in this particular writing is simply to remind everyone that we’re a community that grieves together and moves forward together. It’s our connectedness to each other and our life's work that cause us to mourn, and it’s the same that will help us mend. Despite our distance, we can be creative in how we care for our network from any distance.

To all those currently grieving, to whatever extent, over whatever loss you have suffered, I send you healing vibrations and love. 💞

The Open Road

I’ve told my husband previously that my two favorite vacations we’ve taken together were the two when we did a TON of driving. We drove to Canada, across to multiple regions, and home. We also drove from Vegas to Carmel, and entirely down the coast to LA. We’ve had other amazing vacations, including other trips to Vegas, and many to Walt Disney World. Why were these my favorite? And what does this have to do with working from home?

On Friday, we had to make an unplanned trip to St. Louis. This is a trip we’ve taken so many times before for hockey, baseball, concerts, and family. (Sometimes every weekend!) We hadn’t been since January due to conflicts and then COVID19. I was honestly missing my second home, so when circumstances presented themselves, I wasn’t really complaining. After taking an unscheduled day off, aligning my parents to watch my girls, and working late on mid-year reviews the night before, I was ready to go.

There was nothing extraordinary about this trip. It’s the first time we’ve driven there and back in one day. We just drove, took care of business, had some lunch, and drove home. I spent about 10 hours total behind the wheel. But I discovered something…

The road looked bigger and brighter than it ever had before. Now, this stretch of road can be pretty boring. It’s flat with farmland, and no real points of interest. And having driven it so often for so long, there was nothing new to discover. Yet, this time, there was.

I mentioned in a previous post about my red bench, and the different perspective it offered. Well, the open road kicked that up 100x. There were no walls (other than the car obviously!) In every direction, the view stretched out for miles and miles. There were no obstructions. At home, I’m still locked in by trees, other homes, and general suburbia. On the open road, there was expanse. There was no “screen” in front of me (again, except the car). My eyes were free from digital interruption and able to focus on distances I had not seen in some time.

I realized then that the road trip was freeing. It could be looked at as a tedious means to an end. Or, it could be looked at as an exciting openness of boundless possibility. This was the first time I truly felt like I had been let out of my cage in months. Every cow, cloud, and cornfield was renewed, and in-turn renewed me.

Now that travel is opening up, I highly recommend a road trip. It doesn’t have to be anything more than the road. You can drive for hours, stop for lunch, and drive back. There’s very little we can do still, with tourist attractions and exhibits restricted. But that drive – man, that drive! Feel the freedom of the open road and revel in the unencumbered view of the world. For anyone struggling right now with home walls closing in, get in the car and remove all the walls. A few hours of your time and a few bucks in gas are a small price to pay for a mental recharge. This is a brand new meaning for the phrase "the open road". 

Too Legit

Today, I celebrate 7 years of working from home. I can’t believe it’s been this long! In some ways it feels longer, and in other ways shorter. And it certainly feels different now compared to pre-COVID19, let alone how it was when it all began.

Getting here wasn’t easy. There were a lot of doubters and downright saboteurs. The technology has struggled to meet the demand for both speed and functionality. Every day was another day of battle, fighting to prove that this workstyle could be as productive and engaging, if not more so, than a traditional office. While the global pandemic has introduced many new people to this way of working and changed some minds, the fight still isn’t over.

With that said, I thought it would be fun to take a look back at some at-home moments and lessons over the years to reflect on the good times and the opportunities with renewed optimism for the future. As part of that reflection, I sent a note out to some members of my old team from around that time to congratulate them on setting the foundation for where we are today and generally check in. I’ve received some touching responses in reply, such as this one:  “…I can with tell with 100% certainty 2012, 2013 and all those times under you were the best time of my work career. Sometimes I feel like I want to go back to that time and re-live that moment again…” (I saved the really sappy parts for myself!)

This puts it all into perspective. Sometimes I get so caught up in supporting the work-at-home movement that I forget that it’s bigger. The responses aren’t that this was the best virtual team, best virtual leader, best virtual coworker, best virtual whatever – it’s simply the best. Whether it is in spite of or because of being virtual, or a little of both, we created an amazing experience. We delivered awesome results and supported each other like family.

While most of my original at-home team is doing other work, just as I am, my hope is that this legacy continues and has multiplied. I hope each team member took something positive and carried it forward, and took any opportunities and made them better, and the result is that each separate team they now work within is better for it. I hope I’m doing the same with my new team, each class I teach, and each new blog post.

This journey has been legit. Definitely, too legit to quit.