You had a bad day

We’ve all had those days. The days that make you question your career choices. The days that make you casually look at the job board for openings. The days where you want to punch something (or someone) or just have a good cry. We work with people and technology, and both can be unpredictable and unforgiving. These are the days you just can’t wait to get in the car and go home. For some, this means cranking up some tunes, singing out loud, and banging your head. For others, just the act of leaving the building is a relief, and then stepping into the comfort of your home seals the deal.

Oh wait…  You are already home. So now what?

It’s important to recognize the unique opportunity that you have. You are able to take action almost immediately. You don’t have to go through the rest of the day in a foul mood. You don’t have to try to hold in your tears or screams, or worry about doing something stupid in your next meeting. You don’t have to carry that funk with you and spread it to others. You can step away NOW. And you have more personalized and private ways to manage your emotions at your disposal. This is amazing!

For many, you really can step away almost in the moment and you should. Reschedule your next meeting or put away the work. It will still be there. Even for those that feel more micromanaged at their desk, you have breaks. And being at home, you can use them how you need to. No one will see you crying in the bathroom or storming out of your office. You’re free to react and recover.

I find that the first MUST do in this situation is to leave sight of work. Completely walk away from the technology that is the bridge to your frustration. This includes the computer, the phone, the cell phone, the smart devices, etc. It’s not just enough to turn them off or ignore. You need to physically have them somewhere else and no longer occupying your space. Step away. This is non-negotiable.

What you do from here is up to you and your frustration. How I deal with the problem depends on what the problem is, how I feel that day, and where the problem “hit” me (such as my head or my heart). Below are some of my tactics, which you are welcome to borrow:

• Go outside and stare off into the sky. Your eyes need a break, such as the 20:20:20 rule, which states that every 20 minutes you should change your gaze to something 20 feet away for at least 20 seconds. We stare at close screens too much. I find that when I let my eyes relax, it can help my brain relax. Outside carries lots of other calming aspects as well, such as fresh air and relaxing sounds that breathe life back into our systems. I also find I need a Vitamin D kick and I’ll just lay in a sunny spot soaking in the rays to refuel my internal sunshine.
• Talk to a trusted ally. Depending on what went down, you will have to pull from your Rolodex. This ally could be a spouse, a parent, a coworker, or a friend. It’s important to let them know what you are seeking. Do you need to just vent? Or would you like advice on how to handle the situation? 
• Cry. Ugly cry. Don’t underestimate the power that a full release provides. I’ve had my share of sobbing into the squishmallow in my bedroom in the middle of the day. Often times, just letting it out lets me move on.
• Get moving! Exercise or simply stretching promotes blood circulation and oxygen delivery to the brain. Exercise stimulates the production of endorphins and enkephalins, feel-good hormones, which can make problems seem more manageable. A good sweat almost feels like those bad vibes are literally pouring out of you. You might even enjoy some physical activities like boxing or Cross-fit where you really can release those punches. 
• Utilize holistic methods to ground yourself. Maybe try a guided meditation on gratitude or diffuse some essential oils to lift your spirit. 
• Redirect your brain. Sometimes I’ll color, sometimes I empty the dishwasher. I try to do something that requires my brain to process, but not to really “think” or “remember”. This isn’t a good time to read the next chapter of a study guide or perform a critical task. When I color, I want to color in the lines and choose the right color combos. My brain has to process this and help me through my ideas, but at my pace working on something of no stress. Puzzles and Sudoku books are another way to stimulate the brain in this way.
• Play with my girls (and by girls, I mean my dogs). There’s truly nothing better than puppy snuggles and playtime. Enough said.

Sure, there are days where I employ retail remedies and chocolate condolences. But the points above are my usual relief options. I’m grateful to be at home and be able to take advantage of these in the moment. I’m not sure that coloring books, crying pillows, diffusers and such would make the best office impressions. Nor would my sweaty self after a walk or run.

Back to the future?

“…Back to work…”

“…Return to normal…”

“…Productive again…”

These are all phrases I’ve been hearing lately. These phrases irritate the heck out of me.

First, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been working. I was working at home before the pandemic, during it, and will continue to afterwards. I continue to push myself and my team every day to be awesome. Sure, we have some distractions, but we’ve churned out some awesome stuff over the past few weeks. We’ve onboarded new people. We’ve been conducting business. To imply that we haven’t been working or haven’t been productive is insulting.

Second, how do you define “normal”? Science can define conformance to documented standards. But for the Average Joe, the things you define as “normal” are simply those things that you have come to accept as routine through pattern, teaching, and experiences. Your normal may be entirely different from someone else’s. The world is full of differences, and these differences make it beautiful. These differences also drive innovation and creativity by provoking alternative thought.

I understand the sentiment. Some people want to get out of their homes and see family and friends. Some people want to go to the mall or take a vacation. Some people want to return to school. While still some people want to escape abusive relationships or gain access to meal programs. Many people want to go about their day without a mask on and once again shake hands. Others want to work without the distractions their home may currently offer. I get it. What you are saying though is that you want to return to doing some of the things you did before – your normal.

The problem with these blanket statements is the implied “we”. These statements indicate everyone is unproductive, everyone isn’t working, everyone wants life a certain way. It’s wrong of us to assume that everyone feels the same way or is going through the same thing.

It would also be a mistake to go back to life exactly how it was before this pandemic. After all, there’s something about that before state that landed us here! We’ve learned so much. Companies and people that didn’t believe they could work from home have proven themselves wrong. We’ve seen the impact we have on our environment. We’ve seen compassion creep up to being a core business value again and a differentiator versus simply managing the bottom-line. We’ve seen creative solutions to connect and collaborate. If we simply return to the exact same state, what have we learned? And what will we lose?

I could continue my rant. But my point here is to watch your words. If you mean to say that you will bring team members back to physical offices, say so. If you want to note that restaurants will now be open for sit-down patrons, say so. But please stop blanketing entire populations with generic statements that imply that today is somehow less than tomorrow.