Don't Fade Away

We've all had those work relationships where your coworkers become your best friends and family. Heck, you often see them more than your other friends and family! You talk everyday about what is going on in each other's lives, you eat lunch together, you celebrate life's big moments, you create inside jokes, and often you choose to hang out after hours as a result. These coworkers aren't just people you work with, they are your people. Or, so you think...

When you change jobs, do these relationships stick? Are they ever the same? Usually you exchange email addresses and may friend each other on Facebook and promise to stay in touch. You may even do so for a while. But there's something different. And, over time, that person who you considered near and dear is all but a memory. You didn't want to cut them out. You didn't actively do anything to "break up" with them. So what happened?

Most work relationships are formed out of convenience. Because you are sitting next to someone every day, it's easy to talk to them, see their photos, notice changes in their appearance, and share in casual downtime moments. You didn't have to work for it. And the minute you, or they, did - well, that's just too much effort! You transitioned from convenient to conscious.

This same thing happens to relationships when you move from an in-office worker to an at-home worker. (It's even harder when you never started in the office and are building off nothing!) Your relationship with your coworkers and even your leaders was often convenient. Staff meetings were in person. Lunches were physical gatherings. Pictures were real photos hanging on your cube wall. Hugs and handshakes were shared. Your relationship had tangible components within an arms reach and mindless recognition.

Now that you are at home, each of these interactions is harder. You may feel like you are losing touch, and the people you thought were your closest friends are now out of sight, out of mind. How do you keep your relationships from dwindling away and becoming just another memory? There are two primary components to keeping what you had (or starting something new): Convenience and Effort.

We have already established that many of these relationships formed out of convenience in the first place. It stands to reason that keeping them alive must also be convenient. It is important to create an environment where relationships are welcome and come naturally. Some ideas:

• Call instead of email. Your voice, tone, inflection, accent, etc. share information about you with others and establish a human connection.
• Use your video camera. Take it up a notch and add real video chat instead of just a phone call. Software and hardware that are easy to use and readily available are the keys to making this as natural as traditional face-to-face conversations.
• Allow time in your meetings for chatter. Start your meeting with casual conversation, catching up or getting to know those on the line. You already have people on the phone, which makes it truly convenient to interact and reestablish those relationships.
• Utilize social networking applications, and mobile ones where available. These are already second nature to most people, so using these tools is meeting people where they are already engaging.
• Employ other modern communication techniques such as instant message and text. These are quick and easy, and another solution already common practice in personal communications.

Let's face it. No matter how convenient you make it, there will still be effort involved. It's just not the same casual convenience you had before. Both parties must have a desire to keep (or build) the relationship. A fire will die out if not tended.

With a little bit of effort and convenient communal areas, you can keep your relationships just as strong as they were when you previously sat next to your coworker. You may even find that your relationship is deeper and more meaningful as a result of intentional interaction as opposed to convenient conversions.