Don't Fade Away

We've all had those work relationships where your coworkers become your best friends and family. Heck, you often see them more than your other friends and family! You talk everyday about what is going on in each other's lives, you eat lunch together, you celebrate life's big moments, you create inside jokes, and often you choose to hang out after hours as a result. These coworkers aren't just people you work with, they are your people. Or, so you think...

When you change jobs, do these relationships stick? Are they ever the same? Usually you exchange email addresses and may friend each other on Facebook and promise to stay in touch. You may even do so for a while. But there's something different. And, over time, that person who you considered near and dear is all but a memory. You didn't want to cut them out. You didn't actively do anything to "break up" with them. So what happened?

Most work relationships are formed out of convenience. Because you are sitting next to someone every day, it's easy to talk to them, see their photos, notice changes in their appearance, and share in casual downtime moments. You didn't have to work for it. And the minute you, or they, did - well, that's just too much effort! You transitioned from convenient to conscious.

This same thing happens to relationships when you move from an in-office worker to an at-home worker. (It's even harder when you never started in the office and are building off nothing!) Your relationship with your coworkers and even your leaders was often convenient. Staff meetings were in person. Lunches were physical gatherings. Pictures were real photos hanging on your cube wall. Hugs and handshakes were shared. Your relationship had tangible components within an arms reach and mindless recognition.

Now that you are at home, each of these interactions is harder. You may feel like you are losing touch, and the people you thought were your closest friends are now out of sight, out of mind. How do you keep your relationships from dwindling away and becoming just another memory? There are two primary components to keeping what you had (or starting something new): Convenience and Effort.

We have already established that many of these relationships formed out of convenience in the first place. It stands to reason that keeping them alive must also be convenient. It is important to create an environment where relationships are welcome and come naturally. Some ideas:

• Call instead of email. Your voice, tone, inflection, accent, etc. share information about you with others and establish a human connection.
• Use your video camera. Take it up a notch and add real video chat instead of just a phone call. Software and hardware that are easy to use and readily available are the keys to making this as natural as traditional face-to-face conversations.
• Allow time in your meetings for chatter. Start your meeting with casual conversation, catching up or getting to know those on the line. You already have people on the phone, which makes it truly convenient to interact and reestablish those relationships.
• Utilize social networking applications, and mobile ones where available. These are already second nature to most people, so using these tools is meeting people where they are already engaging.
• Employ other modern communication techniques such as instant message and text. These are quick and easy, and another solution already common practice in personal communications.

Let's face it. No matter how convenient you make it, there will still be effort involved. It's just not the same casual convenience you had before. Both parties must have a desire to keep (or build) the relationship. A fire will die out if not tended.

With a little bit of effort and convenient communal areas, you can keep your relationships just as strong as they were when you previously sat next to your coworker. You may even find that your relationship is deeper and more meaningful as a result of intentional interaction as opposed to convenient conversions.

They say it's easy

One of the common misconceptions about working from home is that "it's easy". Sure, it's easier to throw in a load of laundry on a break or get supper started, but that's not the job. Those are the perks that come with the job, which is actually harder (and why those perks are important).

When you remove the perks (comfier clothes, no commute, your own environment, etc.) and just focus on performing the work, the at-home worker must put in extra effort on every activity to match, or hopefully exceed, their in-office counterpart. The reason? Distance. The exact same reason that those long-distance relationships from college didn't work out!

Imagine that you want to have an interactive brainstorming session with multiple people, free flowing ideas, and collaboration. In the office, you just grab a conference room and shove everyone in. When you are differently located, however, you must find a technology solution that will perform many of the same functions, such as whiteboards, chat, sharing documents, telephone, etc. These may cost money, and they are certainly more overhead to set up than booking a room. And then you actually have to get people to participate on a platform they may not be familiar with. This results in extra preparation to become an expert yourself and being able to teach others. Which then also adds on to the meeting time. Whew! I'm exhausted just talking about it!!

Let's look at an even simpler example now. Assume that you like your coworkers and care about building a relationship with them. In the office, you'd probably say "Hi!" on your way to your desk, you'd chitchat at the water cooler, and probably go out to lunch every now and again. When you don't work in the office, these same people aren't within arms reach for such impromptu conversations. Once again, you must turn to technology to fill this gap, using mechanisms such as phone, instant message, and social media platforms. This comes with the same knowledge curve previously mentioned, for both you and the other parties involved. This also comes with more intent, which increases the effort. It's not just a convenient walk-by. You must go out of your way to be social. And with all that we have on our plates (those deliverables you are late with...), this can easily be curtailed to having social feel more like a burden than enjoyment.

Then, of course, there is the fear of being out of sight, out of mind. There is truth to that if you don't put energy into self promotion. You could be doing more work and receiving less recognition just because you are in the shadows. The physical person has the benefit of being seen each day, which creates a little marketing billboard for them each time. Without any effort, they are branding themselves. You, on the otherhand, need to make effort. You need to speak up on calls. You need to actively engage with senior leaders and peers. You need to toot your own horn. You must practice the ABC's of at-home promotion:

Always Be Communicating

Next time someone tells you that at-home work is easier, just smile and say "That's because I make it look easy!"

Get a backup plan

Random "hiccups" can happen whether you are at home or at work. The power can go out. The internet could go bump. Your phone could get cut off. All of these issues will prevent you from working as you usually do. In the office, everyone is there, so everyone knows. Being universally down is somehow more acceptable than being down at home. When you are at home, you are expected to be connected and never have these mishaps. So what happens when you do?

You have a much bigger responsibility to be prepared when you are at home. You need to be able to get a hold of your coworkers to let them know what is going on, and you need to find a way to work.

The easiest thing to do to prepare is to create your contact list. You should have the email addresses and phone numbers of your key contacts stored offline. This could be on paper, on your cell phone, on your personal PC, or whatever works for you. But consider all the options. If you lose power, you lose personal devices as well.

When you let people know you're situation, you have to let them know what you are doing about it. All of this will depend on your role and what you need to accomplish for the day. This can vary, so understanding all of your options under any situation is important.

• If you have power, but no internet, you may be able to work offline. If you have heads down work, you have materials locally you can work on, or your work is mostly by phone. You may be able to get by somewhat disconnected for a bit.
• If you have no power, working offline is going to be hard. Your battery will eventually die. You need to find another location to work such as a family member, physical office, or coffee shop.
• If you have both connections, but experience technical difficulties with your work connection only, you may have alternative connection options. Check to see if your company has a web mail client or an email app that will give you some means to connect.

If you are not prepared, it may cost you. You could lose face with your leader and peers, and you may even be out a vacation day because not working is not acceptable.