Friday Funday!

I’ve written before about various games you can play for team engagement, socialization, and general fun. Today I want to keep it simple! There are plenty of things you can do using a social media or collaboration tool that require no prep work from you, and allow your teams to respond on their schedule. These can be just as much fun as activities you participate in “live”.

Before engaging in any fun-tivities on your social channels, make sure that you are partitioned to do so. You should segregate your play from your work so that one does not drown out the other, and proper attention can be placed on the matter at hand. If a feed or channel is too noisy with a wide variety of chatter, all messages will seem less important and activity will dwindle.

Each activity needs to start with a top level post. You should provide the instructions, along with an example or the starter to the activity.

Allow for side convos. Someone’s post is likely to spawn a comment, such as “That’s the best movie!”, “Dude… too soon!”, “Now I want pizza”, and so forth. This is the real fun of such activities. You learn something about people through their top responses (even indirectly just by the type of meme or Giphy they use), but you also foster watercooler chat and informal socialization by permitting the rabbit holes. These activities are intended to be organic. When they are allowed to twist and turn, you end up on an exciting road trip. If you keep too much to the map, you reach the destination, but missed some fun stops along the way.

Here are some ideas within that social thread:

• Dance Party! - Respond in Giphy with your favorite dance moves. Use likes to vote for the best dance, if desired. (I favor headbanging from Wayne’s World, and the Carlton from Fresh Prince!)
• Ruin a Song with One Word (Add version) – Respond with a song title, but add one word to it that wasn’t there to totally ruin it. “I will NOT Survive”, “Gin and Juice BOXES”, etc.
• Ruin a Song with One Word (Replace version) – Respond with a song title, but change one word already in the song to totally ruin it. “Dr. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” (This one still kills me!)
• Song Title Piggyback – Respond with a song title that starts with the last word of the previous post. “Good Day Sunshine” > “Sunshine of your Love” > “Love Me Do”…
• Movies A-Z – Respond with a Giphy related to a movie, in alphabetical order. Person 1 starts with A, such a Giphy of Fievel from “An American Tail”. Next person has B and posts a Giphy from the movie “Batman Returns”, and so on.
• Desert Island Movies – Respond with the five movies you would keep if stranded on an island, to watch until the end of time. No reason needed, just list ‘em! You can do the same with Desert Island Music Albums, Desert Island Books, Desert Island Food, etc. 
• Chopped – Respond with the four ingredients you would be if you were a Chopped mystery basket. No explanation needed! 
• Create a Playlist – Name songs around a certain theme, like sunny days, weekends, a holiday, road trips, etc. This is even more fun if someone volunteers to compile and share on Amazon, Spotify, iTunes, or the like.
• Dream Vacation – If you had two weeks off, and an unlimited budget, respond with where you would go and what you would do.
• Popular Things You Don’t Like – Respond with ten things that seem to be popular but you don’t care for. (Though I live in the state and it’s all the rage, I truly do not care for bourbon!)

All of the above require no advanced work. No meeting to be scheduled. No gathering of info. Just make a post and go! If you have five minutes, you could do some other easy ones such as:

• Never Have I Ever – Find a PC version of this online. Post the image. Ask people to respond by giving themselves one point for everything they HAVEN’T done.
• What’s your X Name? – This could be your Halloween Name, Troll Name, Rockstar Name, or whatever. Usually this is some combo of your birth month, first initial, and last initial. Find an image online, paste it, and get responses! Or, find a name generator, post the link, and have people respond with their results.
• Point Lists – Pick a thing like visiting Walt Disney World, “adulting”, how much of a 90’s kid you are, so-called “Millennial” foods you have tried, states you’ve visited, etc. Create a list or grab one from the web. Have people respond with their point total, or with an X next to the things they are counting.

Remember – As a leader, you set the tone. It’s not enough to tell your team that this type of thing is ok. You need to illustrate it by actively participating, preferably having fun in the process.

This is just a short list of ideas to get you started. Please add your comments on other ideas to help keep the party going!

Managing Grief from a Distance

Grief is a deep sorrow, a poignant distress, a cause of suffering typically following a loss. That loss can take many forms, from losing a loved one or a friend, a furbaby, your job, your health, your security, etc. That loss can be physical, such as death, or more cerebral such as a falling out or distance from a move. 

Just like there are multiple, real types of grief, there are multiple ways to cope with grief. Typically these center around denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. There is no right or wrong way to proceed through those emotions, no length of time, and no order. The journey is personal.

While every person’s experience and path is unique to them, that does not mean they should be alone.

Working remotely poses unique challenges when managing grief, both your own and supporting those around you. It is often harder to read the situation as you cannot visually experience some of the signs, and your exposure to one another is limited. It is even harder still to determine a course of action. How can you help or be helped from a different city, state, or time zone?

First, do not let fears of saying or doing the wrong thing (especially from a distance) keep you from reaching out. People appreciate that you are there. While I personally would love a hug, just knowing there are people around that care enough to check in or send a card means the world to me. In times of grief, we often reach out for grounding. The people we know and love help us connect back to that white, healing light of the world. When possible, try to reach out via phone or physical card, as the added sensory experience of sound and touch help cement us back to earth.

When reaching out to someone, remember that it’s about them, not you. Just listen. Be ok with silence and the sounds of tears. Be genuine. Ask how you can help. And ask if someone wants to hear about your similar experience or your recommendations. You may have a lot to offer, but the person may not be in a place to hear that information. And never begin a statement with “you should” or “you will” – you should soften any guidance, such as “you might try”.

For someone going through the grieving process remotely, don’t let the remote distance suffocate you. It is easy to sink into our own space and let grief consume us. Start by letting someone, anyone, know how you are feeling. This could be a friend, family member, or external resource such as a therapist. Grief is difficult to go through alone, but no one will know to try to help unless you provide a window into your world. You can be as public or private as you personally prefer, but do share with someone.

There are multiple ways to express your grief from a distance. You can journal privately or blog publicly to express your feelings. Be creative through art, poetic memoirs, personalized playlists, scrapbooking, or other projects that you can again share with others or keep to yourself. More public expressions include memorial sites where you can collect messages, pictures, and memories from others. It can be cathartic knowing others are going through their own related journey alongside you. Many of these thoughts might even bring a smile or a laugh as you learn something new or recall a fun moment.

There are plenty of resources available for managing grief, and I encourage anyone managing anything they consider to be 'grief' to look into these options. My intent is not to try to cover this immense topic in such a short blog, nor would I ever be able to. My goal in this particular writing is simply to remind everyone that we’re a community that grieves together and moves forward together. It’s our connectedness to each other and our life's work that cause us to mourn, and it’s the same that will help us mend. Despite our distance, we can be creative in how we care for our network from any distance.

To all those currently grieving, to whatever extent, over whatever loss you have suffered, I send you healing vibrations and love. 💞

The Open Road

I’ve told my husband previously that my two favorite vacations we’ve taken together were the two when we did a TON of driving. We drove to Canada, across to multiple regions, and home. We also drove from Vegas to Carmel, and entirely down the coast to LA. We’ve had other amazing vacations, including other trips to Vegas, and many to Walt Disney World. Why were these my favorite? And what does this have to do with working from home?

On Friday, we had to make an unplanned trip to St. Louis. This is a trip we’ve taken so many times before for hockey, baseball, concerts, and family. (Sometimes every weekend!) We hadn’t been since January due to conflicts and then COVID19. I was honestly missing my second home, so when circumstances presented themselves, I wasn’t really complaining. After taking an unscheduled day off, aligning my parents to watch my girls, and working late on mid-year reviews the night before, I was ready to go.

There was nothing extraordinary about this trip. It’s the first time we’ve driven there and back in one day. We just drove, took care of business, had some lunch, and drove home. I spent about 10 hours total behind the wheel. But I discovered something…

The road looked bigger and brighter than it ever had before. Now, this stretch of road can be pretty boring. It’s flat with farmland, and no real points of interest. And having driven it so often for so long, there was nothing new to discover. Yet, this time, there was.

I mentioned in a previous post about my red bench, and the different perspective it offered. Well, the open road kicked that up 100x. There were no walls (other than the car obviously!) In every direction, the view stretched out for miles and miles. There were no obstructions. At home, I’m still locked in by trees, other homes, and general suburbia. On the open road, there was expanse. There was no “screen” in front of me (again, except the car). My eyes were free from digital interruption and able to focus on distances I had not seen in some time.

I realized then that the road trip was freeing. It could be looked at as a tedious means to an end. Or, it could be looked at as an exciting openness of boundless possibility. This was the first time I truly felt like I had been let out of my cage in months. Every cow, cloud, and cornfield was renewed, and in-turn renewed me.

Now that travel is opening up, I highly recommend a road trip. It doesn’t have to be anything more than the road. You can drive for hours, stop for lunch, and drive back. There’s very little we can do still, with tourist attractions and exhibits restricted. But that drive – man, that drive! Feel the freedom of the open road and revel in the unencumbered view of the world. For anyone struggling right now with home walls closing in, get in the car and remove all the walls. A few hours of your time and a few bucks in gas are a small price to pay for a mental recharge. This is a brand new meaning for the phrase "the open road". 

Too Legit

Today, I celebrate 7 years of working from home. I can’t believe it’s been this long! In some ways it feels longer, and in other ways shorter. And it certainly feels different now compared to pre-COVID19, let alone how it was when it all began.

Getting here wasn’t easy. There were a lot of doubters and downright saboteurs. The technology has struggled to meet the demand for both speed and functionality. Every day was another day of battle, fighting to prove that this workstyle could be as productive and engaging, if not more so, than a traditional office. While the global pandemic has introduced many new people to this way of working and changed some minds, the fight still isn’t over.

With that said, I thought it would be fun to take a look back at some at-home moments and lessons over the years to reflect on the good times and the opportunities with renewed optimism for the future. As part of that reflection, I sent a note out to some members of my old team from around that time to congratulate them on setting the foundation for where we are today and generally check in. I’ve received some touching responses in reply, such as this one:  “…I can with tell with 100% certainty 2012, 2013 and all those times under you were the best time of my work career. Sometimes I feel like I want to go back to that time and re-live that moment again…” (I saved the really sappy parts for myself!)

This puts it all into perspective. Sometimes I get so caught up in supporting the work-at-home movement that I forget that it’s bigger. The responses aren’t that this was the best virtual team, best virtual leader, best virtual coworker, best virtual whatever – it’s simply the best. Whether it is in spite of or because of being virtual, or a little of both, we created an amazing experience. We delivered awesome results and supported each other like family.

While most of my original at-home team is doing other work, just as I am, my hope is that this legacy continues and has multiplied. I hope each team member took something positive and carried it forward, and took any opportunities and made them better, and the result is that each separate team they now work within is better for it. I hope I’m doing the same with my new team, each class I teach, and each new blog post.

This journey has been legit. Definitely, too legit to quit.

You had a bad day

We’ve all had those days. The days that make you question your career choices. The days that make you casually look at the job board for openings. The days where you want to punch something (or someone) or just have a good cry. We work with people and technology, and both can be unpredictable and unforgiving. These are the days you just can’t wait to get in the car and go home. For some, this means cranking up some tunes, singing out loud, and banging your head. For others, just the act of leaving the building is a relief, and then stepping into the comfort of your home seals the deal.

Oh wait…  You are already home. So now what?

It’s important to recognize the unique opportunity that you have. You are able to take action almost immediately. You don’t have to go through the rest of the day in a foul mood. You don’t have to try to hold in your tears or screams, or worry about doing something stupid in your next meeting. You don’t have to carry that funk with you and spread it to others. You can step away NOW. And you have more personalized and private ways to manage your emotions at your disposal. This is amazing!

For many, you really can step away almost in the moment and you should. Reschedule your next meeting or put away the work. It will still be there. Even for those that feel more micromanaged at their desk, you have breaks. And being at home, you can use them how you need to. No one will see you crying in the bathroom or storming out of your office. You’re free to react and recover.

I find that the first MUST do in this situation is to leave sight of work. Completely walk away from the technology that is the bridge to your frustration. This includes the computer, the phone, the cell phone, the smart devices, etc. It’s not just enough to turn them off or ignore. You need to physically have them somewhere else and no longer occupying your space. Step away. This is non-negotiable.

What you do from here is up to you and your frustration. How I deal with the problem depends on what the problem is, how I feel that day, and where the problem “hit” me (such as my head or my heart). Below are some of my tactics, which you are welcome to borrow:

• Go outside and stare off into the sky. Your eyes need a break, such as the 20:20:20 rule, which states that every 20 minutes you should change your gaze to something 20 feet away for at least 20 seconds. We stare at close screens too much. I find that when I let my eyes relax, it can help my brain relax. Outside carries lots of other calming aspects as well, such as fresh air and relaxing sounds that breathe life back into our systems. I also find I need a Vitamin D kick and I’ll just lay in a sunny spot soaking in the rays to refuel my internal sunshine.
• Talk to a trusted ally. Depending on what went down, you will have to pull from your Rolodex. This ally could be a spouse, a parent, a coworker, or a friend. It’s important to let them know what you are seeking. Do you need to just vent? Or would you like advice on how to handle the situation? 
• Cry. Ugly cry. Don’t underestimate the power that a full release provides. I’ve had my share of sobbing into the squishmallow in my bedroom in the middle of the day. Often times, just letting it out lets me move on.
• Get moving! Exercise or simply stretching promotes blood circulation and oxygen delivery to the brain. Exercise stimulates the production of endorphins and enkephalins, feel-good hormones, which can make problems seem more manageable. A good sweat almost feels like those bad vibes are literally pouring out of you. You might even enjoy some physical activities like boxing or Cross-fit where you really can release those punches. 
• Utilize holistic methods to ground yourself. Maybe try a guided meditation on gratitude or diffuse some essential oils to lift your spirit. 
• Redirect your brain. Sometimes I’ll color, sometimes I empty the dishwasher. I try to do something that requires my brain to process, but not to really “think” or “remember”. This isn’t a good time to read the next chapter of a study guide or perform a critical task. When I color, I want to color in the lines and choose the right color combos. My brain has to process this and help me through my ideas, but at my pace working on something of no stress. Puzzles and Sudoku books are another way to stimulate the brain in this way.
• Play with my girls (and by girls, I mean my dogs). There’s truly nothing better than puppy snuggles and playtime. Enough said.

Sure, there are days where I employ retail remedies and chocolate condolences. But the points above are my usual relief options. I’m grateful to be at home and be able to take advantage of these in the moment. I’m not sure that coloring books, crying pillows, diffusers and such would make the best office impressions. Nor would my sweaty self after a walk or run.

Back to the future?

“…Back to work…”

“…Return to normal…”

“…Productive again…”

These are all phrases I’ve been hearing lately. These phrases irritate the heck out of me.

First, I don’t know about you, but I’ve been working. I was working at home before the pandemic, during it, and will continue to afterwards. I continue to push myself and my team every day to be awesome. Sure, we have some distractions, but we’ve churned out some awesome stuff over the past few weeks. We’ve onboarded new people. We’ve been conducting business. To imply that we haven’t been working or haven’t been productive is insulting.

Second, how do you define “normal”? Science can define conformance to documented standards. But for the Average Joe, the things you define as “normal” are simply those things that you have come to accept as routine through pattern, teaching, and experiences. Your normal may be entirely different from someone else’s. The world is full of differences, and these differences make it beautiful. These differences also drive innovation and creativity by provoking alternative thought.

I understand the sentiment. Some people want to get out of their homes and see family and friends. Some people want to go to the mall or take a vacation. Some people want to return to school. While still some people want to escape abusive relationships or gain access to meal programs. Many people want to go about their day without a mask on and once again shake hands. Others want to work without the distractions their home may currently offer. I get it. What you are saying though is that you want to return to doing some of the things you did before – your normal.

The problem with these blanket statements is the implied “we”. These statements indicate everyone is unproductive, everyone isn’t working, everyone wants life a certain way. It’s wrong of us to assume that everyone feels the same way or is going through the same thing.

It would also be a mistake to go back to life exactly how it was before this pandemic. After all, there’s something about that before state that landed us here! We’ve learned so much. Companies and people that didn’t believe they could work from home have proven themselves wrong. We’ve seen the impact we have on our environment. We’ve seen compassion creep up to being a core business value again and a differentiator versus simply managing the bottom-line. We’ve seen creative solutions to connect and collaborate. If we simply return to the exact same state, what have we learned? And what will we lose?

I could continue my rant. But my point here is to watch your words. If you mean to say that you will bring team members back to physical offices, say so. If you want to note that restaurants will now be open for sit-down patrons, say so. But please stop blanketing entire populations with generic statements that imply that today is somehow less than tomorrow. 

Free Your Mind

I’ve written before about the importance of leaving your house when you work at home. Being stuck in the same place, all day, every day, leads to cabin fever which may take on various forms: loneliness, despair, depression, anger, and more. But now we find ourselves in a time when connecting with others is difficult and getting out of the house is socially irresponsible. So what do we do?

Personally, I’ve found myself sitting under my maple tree a great deal more. I have a covered deck (see prior posts about working from home while living through that construction!) and a nice patio. But I’ve been drawn to this bench out in my yard. I’ve never sat there much… until now.

Why do I sit there now? What changed? As I thought about it, I realized it was multiple factors. First and foremost, it is further away from my house. It gives me the feeling of getting out even though I haven’t really gone anywhere. Second, it has no walls and no roof. I am not enclosed by anything, which provides me more feeling of freedom and less entrapment. It feels roomy and limitless. Additionally, it provides me with a different view. The view is one I am not used to, one I don’t see out my window all day. This simple bench under a tree has renewed my spirit.

Of course, there are the other benefits of being outdoors such as fresh air, sunshine, disconnection from devices, etc. But I could have had these benefits in my prior outdoor hangouts. This one is different.

I share to let you all know that I, like you, struggle with being locked down. I miss the things I did to disconnect from work and reconnect with myself. I miss the adventures and the people on “the outside”. So while social distancing is still active, and will be for a while, I have to find new ways to reset.

I encourage you to look for this opportunity. Seek an outdoor location, socially distant per your guidelines, and soak in all that is great about being outside. Use this opportunity to explore a new vantage point, looking at something with renewed appreciation. I may have seen my neighbors tree many times before, but I never truly saw it until now. Look around you and appreciate the freedom that outside offers and remember that you’re only confined if you allow your mind to be.

Find your bench.